I have had a handicap placard for some time now due to my many knee surgeries. But I allowed an incident several years ago to rob me of what I now know would have been
a great benefit to my long term health. Not long after a knee scope a woman followed me into a Target store from my handicap spot and proceeded to verbally assault me. "You don't look handicapped!" she yelled in an attempt to shame and embarrass me. I'm certain what she considered a suitable punishment for my wrong doing and a noble act on her part. Those who know me, know that I am both non confrontational and an extreme introvert. So, needless to say I was both hurt and humiliated. Somehow I mustered up the courage to walk up to her. With tears in my eyes I informed her that I had just had knee surgery and that she shouldn't speak when she has no idea what she is talking about. I knew my words were wasted as she nodded in disbelief and judgement. And she continued to spew ignorance as her husband pulled at her arm and mouthed a silent apology to me. When I told my Doctor of the incident he shared with me a thought that has served me well in many circumstances "How dare she pretend to know your truth."Doesn't that just say it all? How many times do we make judgments about people when we don't know the whole story.....know their truth. That little statement has led me to live my life with a bit more understanding. It has led me to assume in the direction of understanding. And it makes for a pretty good retort "You don't know my truth!" Very dramatic. Now that I will be using my handicap spot more often I will be dusting off that phrase as well as a few others such as..."Ehlers Danlos look it up jerk!" or "You can't see pain!" and just for fun "guess which leg is fake!" In a continued effort to look at the bright side of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome I have to admit that I do love my rock star parking.
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I love the "guess which leg is fake!" line. Made me almost spit out my Crystal Light. :-)
ReplyDeleteTry these on for size:
"Funny, you don't look stupid either"
"Ya well I never would have pegged you for an ignorant asshole either"
Or my favorite..."Wow, you're good! What color panties am I wearing?"
BTW...thanks for sharing that little bit of advice during the worst part of my divorce. There really isn't anything you can do to change the beliefs of others. And sometimes the more you try, the more guilty you look. All we can do is cling to our truth and accept that there are a lot of judgemental idiots walking the globe with us. Let's just strive not to join the masses!
Thank you, I so recognise the problem. You see I have EDS 4, and do not longer work. But if I am cleaning my windows, I can feel the neighbours watching and thinking. But they don't see that I only do those in the front, then have to rest. And maybe next day, the other windows.
ReplyDeleteLast day, I saw my former boss on the street. "Oh you look well" (He was probably thinking: coming back to work soon?) I said: "that's just the problem, I LOOK well, thanks to make up, diguizing my black circles under my eyes". I don't FEEL well unfortunately.
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Thanks for the humor!
Take care, God bless you